Monday 8 June 2020
I have the wham-bam thank you ma’am quickie orgasm when I give them to myself, and those are well and good for relief of stress and sexual tension for sure, but they’re nothing like the kind I can have with my partner.
There’s the sweet, slow build of orgasm that comes from making love in the missionary position, the deep, G-spot stimulating orgasm that’s usually met with your partner cumming with you.
There’s the explosive, clit stimulating orgasm that I get when I’m on top, riding my man fast and hard and furiously until the friction and energy and passion come to a head.
Then, of course, there’s that tingling, titillating, full body feeling of exquisite pleasure from the orgasms that come when a man goes down on me and licks and sucks my clit with the enthusiasm that we all deserve.
All of them are great orgasms, all of them serve their purpose, whether it be just to get myself off or to connect me more with my partner, and all of them can be made a little bit better by following these three simple tips for women to have a better orgasm:
Feel good first.
The thing is, having an orgasm is as much as mental thing as it is physical.
Do you feel sick, tired, achey, or annoyed?
None of those things are conducive to having a good orgasm, let alone good sex.
If you’re not in the right mindset to dedicate yourself to having pleasure, you might just not get there, and that would be sad.
You need to already feel good to feel really, really good, and that could mean that you need more sleep, need more stimulation and foreplay, or just need a night off once in a while if you don’t think it’s going to happen — which happens, unfortunately.
In short, you really have to be in the mood if you want to have a fantastic orgasm, and getting in the mood can mean anything from getting seduced by your partner, by touching yourself, by fantasizing about what you want to do and feel…whatever tickles your pickle, so to speak.
So, before you get yourself into a sexual situation, try to get yourself into the right sexual mindset, too, ready to give and receive all the pleasure there is to be had.
Take your sweet, sweet time.
One way to kill a good orgasm is to put some time pressure on the deed.
Generally, women need at least ten to twenty minutes to get turned on enough to orgasm. Our bodies need more stimulation than a man’s to get ready to cum, and if you skip the foreplay she might have a harder time getting there.
Not to mention, there’s nothing worse than feeling pressure to come faster if you don’t feel like you’re ready.
When a man can sometimes get off so easily within minutes, we women sometimes worry that it’s taking too long to get there for our partners, that they are getting bored or annoyed going down on us to seemingly no avail, and that pressure causes insecurity that totally kills the mood.
Men, (and women) need to take their sweet time pleasuring their lovers, getting them fully turned on, fit and primed to cum without making them feel like they’re performing a chore.
You need to take your time, and do things with enthusiasm — she knows the difference and she deserves it.
Get confident.
Sex takes confidence, plain and simple.
You have be confident to take off your clothes in front of someone and start rubbing your bodies together, and if you aren’t feeling confident in your own body while you’re with your partner, you might face a mental block that will keep you from enjoying yourself to the fullest and reaching orgasm.
Some of this confidence will be reflected on you from your partner — are they making you feel good, sexy, or loved? Or are they just going through the motions to get laid?
Women will be able to tell the difference, and it really makes all the difference in the world.
To have a truly great orgasm, we need to feel free to be vulnerable and express ourselves sexually in the most intimate way, and we can’t do that if we don’t feel like our partner wants us as much as we want them.
Of course, it’s not completely up to our partners to give us an orgasm.
Some of that we have to take for ourselves, and it comes from within, from embracing that primal sexuality within all of us and being confident enough to let go and be ourselves in bed, to do the things that feel the best to us, to ask for the things we want and not just be a passive lover.
And, not for nothing, the more confident you are, the more you believe you’re going to have an incredible orgasm, the more likely it is to happen.
Ittakes a lot for women to have an incredible orgasm. Much more, I imagine, than it takes for most men.
Not only do we need a great, attentive lover, but we need to find it within ourselves to be relaxed, confident, and open to having that kind of explosive, wild pleasure that comes from letting go and really cumming.
It may take a little longer, it may take some physical and mental preparation, but it’s worth it to give your woman (or yourself) an orgasm that’s really worth remembering.